Relationships : Women Taking Control

Dealing With Infidelity 

Are you in a relationship where you feel like you are giving one hundred percent and he is only giving fifty?  That is probably because he is giving another woman that other fifty.  Infidelity is one of the major cause of problems in relationships.  There is a tendency for both of the sexes to cheat and when there is no trust in a relationship it is destined for failure.
As a woman how do you deal with the fact that your partner is cheating on you?  Do you confront him, make him know you won’t stand for it, give him an ultimatum wherein he had to choose you or go out the door?  Or are you so afraid you might lose him that you turn a blind eye, suffer silently and tell yourself that you would rather share him than lose him?  The fact is if you are sharing him with someone else you are half-way on the road to losing him anyway.  What is the point in prolonging your unhappiness?
You might be so afraid of losing him that you try to convince yourself that you can deal with it.   But why lie to yourself?  You lie awake at night wondering where he is, who he is with and what he is doing.  You want to feel his arms about you but the space beside you is empty and you know in your heart that he is with someone else.  You cry yourself to sleep knowing you have to let him go but not having the courage to do it.
Women often feel they need a man even when that man turns out to be a source of unhappiness.  The truth is you don’t need someone in your life who is making you unhappy.  You cannot rely on someone else to make you happy.  You are the author and creator of your happiness.  You cannot leave it in someone else’s hands!
If a man loves, respect and cares about his woman, chances are he will not cheat on her.  If he does not love, care for and respect you then you need to let him go.  There are times in life when you have to compromise but this is not one of those times.  If he is cheating on you and refuses to stop you need to show him the door because you don’t need him anymore than he needs you.  You certainly do not need to put yourself at risk for STD’s especially HIV and AIDS.  If you man is playing around he is not just messing with your heart, he could be messing with your life as well.
In my next post I will tell you about one woman who compromised and paid for it with her life.  Be wise, stay strong , love yourself and accept nothing less than you deserve!  Take control of your relationship today!

Todd Coontz *Minister or Trickster?*

It is not often that I touch on the topic of so-called preachers who use the pulpit to con people out of their money.  Todd Coontz apparently has a group of followers whom he has managed to brain wash over the years.  The sole purpose of his broadcasts is to get money out of them by whatever means necessary.
Those of you who listen to his broadcasts and are still sending him money have you ever heard him talking about anyone receiving any of the miracles he preaches about except for himself?  I have never heard a testimony of anyone who has benefited from sowing these faith seeds except for Todd Coontz himself.  Food for thoughts don’t you think?
Every broadcast is skillfully designed to convince people to send him money.  Wake up people no one is receiving any of the miracles he is preaching about except him.  God is not telling him to tell you to send him money.  Why would God do that?  He is  not even preaching the words of God.  Every broadcast is about money and the blessings that he Todd Coontz has received.
“FedEx comes to my house weekly,” he says.  He says FedEx comes to his house so often he gets excited every time he sees a FedEx truck.  He says he not only receives through FedEx but UPS as well and that he has never had so much financial blessings before as he has had in the last twenty-four months.  I guess the number of people sending him money have increased significantly.
Why isn’t any of the people who are sending him their money receiving any of the FedEx or UPS deliveries?  If they are I don’t hear him talking about it.  According to his preaching he is the only one I hear receiving any of the financial blessing he is promising.  He wants people to send him money, that is the whole purpose of his broadcasts.  It is not about God!  It has never been about God!  It is all about money!  Every time you send him money he receives a miracle, he not you.  But then what does he care, he says his miracles are not for every one so I suppose if you have no money or credit card you won’t qualify for one anyway.
May the Lord open the eyes and ears of those who continue to allow themselves to be deceived!

5 Year-old Raped and Tortured in India

Last December the people of India were shocked and outraged when a young woman was brutally raped and tortured.  She later died as a result of her injuries.  Now only a few months later another brutal rape and tortured has shocked the nation once more.  This time the victim is only five years old.  
The little girl was moved from a local hospital to Swami Dayanand Hospital in New Delhi on Friday.  She is reported to be alert and stable.  According to doctors she was being given intravenous antibiotics to fight a blood infection and further operations will have to wait until the infection clears up.  ”This is the first time I have seen such barbarism”, R. K. Bansal medical superintendent of the hospital said Friday in a televised interview.  ”There were injuries to her lips, cheek, arms and anus area.  Her neck had bruise marks suggesting that attempts were made to strangle her.”  He said a bottle almost eight inches long and pieces of candle had been inserted into her private parts.
The five year old went missing on April 15 and was found two days later by neighbors who heard her crying in a locked room in the same New Delhi building where she lives with her family.  She was found alone having left for dead by her attackers.  Anger at the authorities grew after the parents of the girl said the police had failed to take their complaint seriously, failed to carry out an adequate search and then offered them  2000 rupees – about $37 – if they would keep quiet about the case.  On Friday a Television News Channel showed a police officer slapping a female protester in the face.
The police arrested a 22 year-old garment worker early Saturday morning in Bihar.  The suspect had an apartment in the same building as the girl.  He is accused of abducting, raping and torturing her.  The Times of India reported that he told the police he fled the apartment because he believe the girl had died.
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh expressed regrets about the incident.  On Saturday the president of The Indian National Congress Party, Sonia Gandhi released a statement saying “Action and not words are required to ensure that such incident never happens again”.  A second suspect was arrested on Monday.

Stop Abuse of Women

Abuse of women is a form of human rights violation that affects women just about every where in the world.  Ironically one of the thing which contributes to   abuse is the lack of unity among women and the fact that in some societies women actually take part in abusing other women.  In places such as India and Pakistan mother-in-laws and sister-in-laws often beat and torture a new bride if they are not satisfied with the dowry that the family receives.  There is no unity among the sisterhood and they see nothing wrong with hurting one of their kind.

In countries where Female Genital Mutilation is practiced, it is often the women who carry out this gruesome operation.  In the Cameroon and other places that practice breast ironing it is the women who hurt their daughters and inflict physical as well as psychological scars.  Women disfigure and hurt their daughters in what they say is an attempt to protect them from rape and harassment by men.  These women fail to grasp the understanding that what they are doing is just another form of abuse.  It is a no win situation for many young girls; if the men don’t hurt them, their mothers will.

One of the biggest obstacle in eliminating abuse against women worldwide is the fact that in many countries women have been conditioned to accept abuse as a part of life.  Women suffer abuse in forced marriages and do nothing  to protect their daughters from experiencing the same fate.  So the vicious cycle of abuse is allowed to continue.  For many young girls there is no escape, no way out.  There is no one to stand up for them and no one to protect them.

The change must start with women taking responsibility for protecting their daughters instead of hurting them.  Women must unity in the fight for equal rights for women.  Young girls must no longer be denied the right to an education and they should not be forced into child marriages for which they are not prepared physically, mentally or emotionally.  Women must understand that abuse of any form is not acceptable.

Stop Abuse of Women

The world is full of chaos and people with twisted minds.  In some countries the laws that ought to be enforced are ignored and people impose other rules to satisfy themselves.  They have rules which make it acceptable for a man to torture and kill a woman.  On the other hand if a woman refuses to comply to a fixed marriage or wear clothes considered as being inappropriate, it is seen as a sin for which she is punished.
In some cultures women are seen as replaceable commodities.  There is no value placed on the life of the woman.  She is looked upon as being inferior to her male counterpart and is treated accordingly.  Brothers think nothing of killing their sisters to uphold what they call the family honor  The question is, what kind of honor does a murderer bring to any family?  What is honorable about killing your own sister?
Love to these people mean nothing and family honor means everything.  It is a kind of sick twisted mentality.  They do not understand the concept that unity is strength and that a family divided against itself will come to naught.  They are so busy trying to protect their public image that they are blinded to the things that should be more important, that of a brother looking out for his sister and families uniting to protect family members.
The fact that brothers see nothing wrong with killing their sisters highlight the fact that in these societies men in general have very little respect for the lives of women and the laws if there are any is not sufficiently implemented to be a deterrent.
If women in these countries should turn the tables and say enough is enough and start to seek their own justice, I wonder if the laws will then be implemented or will they be able to get away with committing atrocities against men in the same manner that men commit atrocities against women? Interesting thought isn’t it?  What do you thing?

 

Stop Abuse Of Women

Honor Killings

 

The horrors of honor killings continues.  Late last year a seventeen year old Pakistan girl miraculously cheated death.  Her attacker was her own brother.  Gul Meena life of misery began at the age of twelve when she was married off to a man old enough to be her grandfather.

She says, “My husband was sixty.  Everyday he would beat me.  I would cry and beg him to stop, but he kept on beating me.”  Her family was not very supportive.  ”My family would hit me when I complain,” she said.  ”They told me you belong in your husband’s house, it is your life.

After five years of abusive Gul Meena met a young Afghan man and finally found the courage to leave her abusive husband in Pakistan.  In November 2012 she packed some of her things and they made their was across the border to the city of Jalalabad in Afghanistan.  She knew what she was doing was dangerous.  Running away from her husband with another man was committing the ultimate sin.   But she was tired of the life she was living.

“I tried to kill myself with poison several times but it didn’t work,” she said.  ”I hated my life.  I had to escape.

Days later her older brother tracked them down.  Using an ax he hacked to death Gul Meena’s friend and then struck her fifteen times cutting open her face head and other parts of her body.  Believing that she was dead he escaped back to Pakistan.  The authorities are yet to catch him and his family denies that he tried to kill his sister.

Passersby hearing the commotion discovered Gul lying in a pool of blood in bed and rushed her to the Emergency Department of Nangarhar Regional Medical Centre.  Part of her brain was hanging out of her skull.  Neurosurgeon Zamiruddin Khalid held out little hope that she would survive.  She had lost a lot of blood and her injuries were horrific.  But by some act of God she defeated death and survived.

Even then her troubles were not over; she had received life-saving treatment from doctors and staff at the hospital but she had no one to care for her on the outside.  Gul had been disowned by her family and despite the government and authorities knowing that she was alive and receiving care at the hospital, they wanted nothing to do with her due to the stigma and circumstances surrounding her attack.

She stayed in the hospital for two months thanks to the generosity of doctors who donated money to pay for her medicine.  Finally the organization Women for Afghan women were informed of her situation. They took her in, transporting her back to a shelter in Kabul to give her the love and care she so badly needed.

Gul Meena is one of the thousands of women living in shelters across Afghanistan.  Many of them are victims of attempted honor killings.

Stop Abuse of Women

Punished for Being Beautiful
She is beautiful and she is so afraid,
In a perfect world her beauty would be a blessing,
But in her world it is something of a curse.
Boys will look at her,
Men will lust after her,
And for this she is punished.
Hot, searing iron is thrust into her breasts,
Her womanhood has to be disguised,
She is told It is for her own protection.
She carries the horror of this torture in her heart,
She wonders who will protect her,
From the pain of the hot iron being thrust into her breasts.
Who will protect her from the psychological scars
And from the physical pain,
Who will protect her from the distress
When she looks in the mirror and sees
Her scarred disfigured breasts.
She cries silently into her pillow
And she wonders is her pain will ever end.

 

Stop Abuse of Women

Bride Burning

Violence against women takes various forms, from Acid Throwing, Female Genital Mutilation, to Torture and Murder.  One of the most heinous of these crimes is Bride Burning.  It is practiced in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.  The crime is often staged to appear as an accident or suicide.  The victims are usually newly married women whose parents do not have the money to pay off the husband‘s dowry requirements.  The perpetrators are usually the husband’s family or the husband himself. 
Women in these countries do not get much support from their male counterpart.  The husband’s family will harass, threaten and sometimes kill the bride if her family cannot come up with the money or gifts .  With the new wife out-of-the-way , the husband is free to remarry and get a new dowry from his new bride.  In 2010 there were 8391 reported cases of dowry deaths in India alone.
In Pakistan although divorce is possible, it is claimed that some families decide instead to murder unwanted wives.  In most cases of bride burning the woman is doused with kerosene, the helpless defenseless woman is then set on fire and is burned alive.  The deaths are often reported as accidents.  In many cases the police are told the victim was killed by an exploding stove and there is no prosecution. They opt for burning because the chances of prosecution is less.
Bride burning is a wicked, barbaric act.  It is one of the most gruesome forms of human rights violation.

Stop Abuse of Women

Honor Killings

An honor killing is the killing of a member of a family or social group by other members who believe that the victim has brought dishonor upon the family or the community.  In countries such as India where there is little respect for the lives of women, a woman can be killed for simple things such as dressing in a manner which is deemed in appropriate, wanting to terminate or prevent an arranged marriage, desiring to marry by her own choice or engaging in sex outside of marriage.
Women’s rights activists say India’s police are not doing enough to tackle the problem of ‘honor killings’.  Many times the police do not take complaints by the victims seriously.  They do not provide protection for the victims and this boosts the morale of the culprits; they take the law into their own hands.
What is ironic is that simple things that women do are considered sins but the murdering of women is not.  Apparently in the eyes of these perpetrators killing is okay if the victim is a woman.
 The public beheading of a woman by his brother in Kolkata last December highlights the lack  of respect for the lives of women in India.  This incident on December 7, 2012, was another honor killing.  Nilofar Bibi 22, at the time of her death was only fourteen years old when she left home in an arranged marriage.  Bibi alleged that she was tortured by her in-laws and returned to her parents on November 28 but disappeared days later.
Her brother Mehtab Alam 29, found his sister living with an old boyfriend.  He stormed into the house and dragged Bibi into the street in broad daylight.  Passersby watched in horror as he cut off his sister’s head while saying  she had sinned  and had to be punished.  He left his sister’s body in a pool of blood on the road and calmly walked to the police station with her head in his hand to surrender himself.  He walked into the police station and placed the head of his sister and the butcher knife he used to decapitate her on a table in front of the police officer.
The sibling’s family expressed support for Alam saying they were proud he upheld their honor.
I am at a loss to understand what honor this young man upheld.  Honor is protecting and defending the women in your family.  Honor is defending and protecting your sister when the man who  should love and protect her is abusing her.  There is nothing honorable about killing a defenseless woman especially a member of your own family – your sister.  It is a shameful and dishonorable act which must be condemned.  There can be no honor in taking a human life.

Stop Abuse of Women

Acid Attacks in Pakistan
One of the most horrifying forms of gender-based violence in Pakistan is acid throwing, usually sulphuric acid is used.  The victims are mainly women.  The acid is used with malicious intent to take revenge, disfigure and harm the person.
Every year many women in Pakistan fall victims of brutal acid attacks.  The Acid Survivor Foundation of Pakistan deals with 100 cases a year but estimates the real number of people affected to be far higher.  The attacks are frequently linked to domestic violence or revenge by rejected men.  Some men ego will not allow them to accept rejection  and when their advances are spurned they retaliate by throwing acid at the woman.
The attacks are made possible by the easy availability of cheap acids as cleaning fluid or for use in the cotton industry.  The perpetrator intention is not to kill the victim, but to make them suffer forever.  An acid attack is a terrifying experience.  Acid melts human flesh and even bones.  It causes excruciating pain and terror.  The victims are left mutilated and scarred for the rest of their lives.  Some suffer permanent disabilities such as blindness and some victims have died as a result of their injuries.
In December 2011, the Acid Survivor Foundation-Pakistan, with support from the UK’s Department for International Development, led a campaign, which resulted in the unanimous passage of the Criminal Law Amendment Act 2011.  The Criminal Law Amendment Act 2011 made acid and burn violence a crime against the state and imposed a fine of one million Pakistani rupees, along with a punishment of minimum seven years to lifetime imprisonment, for the crime of acid throwing.
Despite the new laws, acid throwing continue to take place.
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